What is “relationship,” really?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the word relationship — especially in the context of self-growth, healing, and inner work.

We hear it all the time:

“Build a better relationship with yourself.”
“Change your relationship to discomfort, to fear, to your thoughts.”

But what does that actually mean?

Here’s what I’m learning:

🌀 Relationship is not a fixed state.
It’s not something you have — it’s something you’re in the process of doing.

You don’t have self-trust — you practice it.
You don’t have self-love — you return to it, over and over again.
You don’t have a relationship with your ADHD, your fear, your uncertainty — you tend to it.

Just like a garden. With time. With patience. With care.

💭 Relationship holds space for complexity.
You can be struggling and still be worthy of care.
You can feel lost and still be trustworthy.
You can be growing and still messy.

That’s what relationship makes room for:
Not one single truth, but the ability to stay with many truths at once.

🌿 Relationship is how healing happens.
It’s not about fixing every flaw.
It’s about changing the way I relate to myself when I fall short or don’t have the answers.

That shift — from self-judgment to self-support, from shame to presence — that’s where the real work is.

Not a quick fix. Not a bandage.
But a new posture toward myself.

So now when I catch myself asking:

“Am I doing enough? Have I figured myself out yet?”
I gently reframe it:

🕊️ “Am I relating to myself with honesty and care — even in the not-knowing?”

Because relationship isn’t something I achieve.
It’s something I show up to — again and again.

And that, I’m learning, is enough.