From Jealousy to Gold: What Cassie Taught Me About Myself

Jealousy.
Oh what a feeling.

It’s not one of those emotions I’m proud of. It feels sticky, petty, almost shameful.
Recently, I found myself feeling it toward someone close—Cassie, a friend of my wife’s. She’s Vietnamese, like me, but in this foreign country, she seems so confident. So productive. She speaks her mind. She gets things done.
And I… well, it didn’t seem like I could.

I hated the feeling.
That tightness in the chest.
That subtle urge to dismiss her success, to downplay it just enough so I didn’t have to feel so… small.

But then I remembered something I heard from Joe Hudson:

“Jealousy is a signal of an unowned desire.
Every time I’ve followed my jealousy to its root and owned the desire underneath it, it’s brought me closer to myself.”

That cracked something open.

So I asked myself: What is it I truly desire here? What’s hiding underneath this jealousy?

And then I saw it.

It wasn’t about Cassie.
It was about me—my longing.

What I envied in her wasn’t just her productivity.
It was the clarity of her expression.
It was that she could execute—bring her ideas into the world in a way that others could see, hear, feel, touch.

That’s what I want too.

Not just to think and tinker and dream.
But to express.
To see my creations land on the table, alive and tangible.
To let them touch people, interact with them, shape their experience—even just for a moment.

That’s the root of it all.

I used to think I was too focused on outcomes—money, recognition, success.
But now I see the deeper truth:

I crave to express and experience life through what I create.
I want my creativity to be born into the world,
to be felt—not just by me, but by others.

Jealousy was just a flare in the dark.
Pointing to a part of my soul I hadn’t yet claimed.

Now I thank it.

Not because it feels good. But because it showed me what matters most.

If you’re feeling jealous, try this:

• Don’t shame it. Follow it.

• Ask: What do they have that touches something true in me?

• Ask again: Where might I be ready to claim that for myself?

• Then: Can I believe it’s possible in my way, in my time?

There might be gold waiting at the root.
There was for me.

And maybe… there is for you too.