Learning to Embrace Discomfort: A Personal Reflection

1. The Habit I Learned from My Mum

Whenever my mum visits, her default advice for handling babies often sounds like:
"Why don’t we just do it this way — easier, less effort, no need to bother?"

For a long time, I didn’t question it. But recently, it hit me: her core motivation isn’t just convenience — it’s about avoiding discomfort and minimizing effort.

And in that moment, I realized how much I had inherited the same mindset.
Subtly, quietly, this way of thinking had shaped me for years.

2. Reflection: The Pattern I Found in Myself

As someone who now tries to embrace discomfort — learning about strength, fortitude, and resilience — I find this old habit unsettling.

Looking back, I see it clearly:

• I often felt floppy, unsteady, xìu xìu (half-hearted).

• My hidden intention wasn't to commit and hold form, but rather to avoid discomfort — to manage pain instead of face it.

At the core, it’s a basic binary choice:

Commit, or default to avoiding pain.

And it turns out — avoiding pain is our biological wiring.
As Kristin Neff explains, even an amoeba in a petri dish will move away from toxins. All living things instinctively resist pain.

So no, it’s not about forcing ourselves to "love discomfort" with another unhealthy should.
It’s about practicing — slowly, patiently — how to stay with discomfort without collapsing.

3. The Practice I’m Building Now

These days, when I push through one more rep at the gym, I don’t focus on the next set, or the outcome months from now.

I focus only on this rep — encouraging myself with small, uplifting words as I move through the struggle.

It’s a quiet but powerful act:

• Choosing to commit.

• Choosing to lift myself up with kindness, not shame.

I’m learning that kindness and strength are not opposites.
To be truly kind to myself, I must also be strong enough to face discomfort — not avoid it, not fight it — but hold it.

4. Codifying the Practice: How I Embrace Discomfort

If I had to put it into a practice guide, it would be this:

1. Remember why.

I choose to embrace discomfort because I want to enjoy life while being effective — in work, in martial arts, in everything that matters.
Discomfort is a companion on the path to mastery, not an enemy.

2. Choose commitment.

I practice holding discomfort like holding a weight — rep by rep, breath by breath — whether it’s physical pain or emotional resistance.

3. Uplift myself.

Every hard moment is a fork in the road: I can shame myself down, or I can lift myself up.
I choose encouragement.

4. Let go of perfectionism.

Progress is not instant.
It’s the paradox of growth: baby steps move us forward faster than chasing unreasonable outcomes.

5. Learn to enjoy the practice itself.

When I stop chasing an end result, I find myself starting to enjoy the practice — even in its difficulty.
Discomfort becomes part of the flow, not something to be feared.

5. Final Reflection

My mum’s habit wasn’t "bad." It was human.
Avoiding discomfort is natural — it's survival.

But living fully — living with strength, mastery, and joy — means making a different choice.
It means choosing to practice — not to avoid, not to force — but to meet life as it comes, and grow from it.

That's the path I'm choosing now, one baby step at a time.